A Spark

James 3:

5-6 It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.

Our newest assignment from Debbie is to start insisting on re-do’s. Until now, when N has spoken rudely/spouted off I have waited until he was calm, and then when he was ready to talk about it he would apologize and I would gently point out what he could have or should have said instead. He wasn’t at a point where I could require him to actually say the words himself, but he is now!  However, there is a lot of drama involved whenever we up the bar and implement new requirements. The key for me is to just be the calming presence who says “Ok, you’re not ready right now. Just let me know when you are.”  Now, to be honest, if it was up to him, he would NEVER be ready to say the right thing. But, by the end of the day when Kris gets home N is ready to do some fun things and, well…. his list has to be finished before we do those fun evening things. And “RE-DOS” are on the list. So, with no nagging from me, he eventually comes to me and says he’s ready. 🙂

Can you imagine reaching the ripe old age of 15 without being required to learn to speak nicely to people? Believe me, 15 years is a long time to learn some bad habits that are deeply ingrained. Some days it seems as if we are getting nowhere. But, God continues to give me the patience I need, and He reminds me of how much patience He has with me in my stubborn ways.  And we do occasionally make some progress. 😀

A couple blog posts that have been helpful to me lately:

Six Things Not to say to an Adoptive Parent

The Ugly Side of Adoption

“This adoption thing is ugly. It takes time for broken things to mend. It takes time for wounds to heal.
But you know what’s amazing about it all?

He gives beauty for ashes. And that, my friends, is beautiful indeed.”
He gives beauty for ashes. And that, my friends, is beautiful indeed.


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